Saturday, October 01, 2005
better off that way.
ha. a title that doesnt suits the blog im doing now. haha. well have to put a name to it, so might as well la. hmm. my week was okie. have been in the library studying for most of the time .haha. now i realised my GP sux. haha. or maybe it had been like that all e way. hmm. i've read those Gp essays in the GP BULL bk and i feel they are amazing. as to come out wif those kind of essays even in exam conditions. ha. i think even if it was to be homework assignment for me, i can never reach that standard. hmm. i made the wrong choice not to read stories books in my early stages of my life. haha. now i cant do chinese, english isnt wad im good in. there's no way i can communicate effectively. How i wish i can wield powerful words like a sword in my essay now. haha. it just seem just so totally cool. Wu Zheng was right. haha, a pen is more powerful den a sword nowadays. how i wish theres someone out there that can help me in my languages. haha. im jealous. jealous for once i dun have a powerful language basics, theres no time for me to polish my languages to compete wif those in RJ. Sentence contruction is yet another hurdle for me. im dead. haha. how i wish time can let me go back to primary sch. haha. I feel im the only one still making grammatical mistakes in my essay in class. haha. so paiseh la. hmm. Now i have my Gp essay to rush through, topic is "'the less piority woman give to their roles as wifes and mothers, the more problems society will face.' discuss". haha. im so dead. still stuck at that question. hee. oh ya. reminds me of yesterday. i think i've been really insensitive to jade. my fault as to blurt out something that would hurt her. ha. stupid me. shes sad, and i noe it. wad else can i do other than saying sorry. i've said more 'sorry's in my life than anione had did i guess. ha. just shows how sinful a person is. i will like to be a person that will never have the chance to say 'sorry'. i really hope so. i'll work towards that. haha. hmm. yesterday i dreamt about something. haha. as if my mind is hinting that no single soul in the world noes and understands me, and its because i haven been revealing enough for others to noe about me. thinkin of it, maybe im a protective person, i wouldnt want myself to get hurt, so my mind drives me in a way i hurt others, rather den myself, selfish eh. that happened to all my flings. haha. grr. i've decided to let myself feel more, im never going to live my life for others again, im tired that life. i didnt get much out of it. i wish i can have that very one person that knows me more den i know myself. be it guy or girl, young or old, pls appear, cure the lonliness within me. haha. sounds like a script yea, stupid. i wish. i wish. i wish. haha. plenty of wad i wish. hee. boring readers here. im sorry for that. hmm. well. i feel more comfortable confiding to a blog rather than a person. well. dun be surprised that thats all i noe about myself emotionally. i really dun noe. maybe someone out there in the world do, someone thats watching over me, someone that can predict wad im going to do, someone that understands why i do things my way, so i can have endless chat with that person that noes me. just because i do not know myself. Not god, i dun like to share my love.
Now Listening To
: Dirty Little Secret by All american reject
Posted by bore-d at 6:17 PM